what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
