He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
