Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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