we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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