That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
