Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
