My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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