I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
not ubering you a puppy
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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