O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize