Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
