Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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