Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
