just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
