Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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