Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
