I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
