In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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