Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
