onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize