pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We are all done wearing pants today
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
