i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
