I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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