Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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