Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
