if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize