New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
