PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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