i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
