I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
