I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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