nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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