No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
