No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
