Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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