You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Your penis caused this!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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