Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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