You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
