Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
