he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
