come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize
