how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
