I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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