i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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