I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
