is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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