thus making me awesome and them whores
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
