I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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