I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
