How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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