i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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